Columbia Gorge says: Unparalleled in the world of apple ciders. We blend several different kinds of apples to achieve the tart yet sweet flavor of this cider. Making it from soil-enriched grown organic apples is the best way to taste the real apple flavor.

Abi Says: In Washington State, Fall means apples and apples mean cider. Okay, cider and apple sauce and deliciously cinnamony pies. But this is not a pie blog.

During a six-day visit to Seattle I figured that I’d just drink my way across every coffee shop in town. This is a good idea in theory, but in actuality it means jitters, possible tooth stains, and peeing all the freaking time.

In order to avoid the uncomfortable side-effects of diuretics, every noontime I switched to juices. Sometimes it was the blackberry version of an Izze sparkling soda and other days I turned to one of these adorable bottles of juice from the Columbia Gorge Juice Company.

The organic cider was lighter and clearer than I expected, a forewarning that the drink would exhibit few of the qualities of farm-fresh pressed cider. Columbia Gorge delivers a refreshing drink, made simply with organic apples. However, their cider walks a line between juice and true cider.

So, if you’re looking for something to mull with spices and wine, or spike with a bit of Jack Daniels and you have lots of cash to burn, you can’t go wrong with this cider.

Trader Joe says: A blend of juice, herbs & vitamin C combined to fortify you.

Abi says: Unsaid on the bottles, but definitely implied is that this beverage will protect you from colds and flus and all-around general illness. Check out this list (by the way, this product is NSFV or Not Safe For Vegans):

• Echinacea (16:1 extract equivalent to 1600mg)
• Vitamin C (175mg) - A Powerful Antioxidant
• Royal Jelly (75mg)
• Bee Propolis (50mg)
• Lemon Bioflavenoid (50mg)

While I’m familiar with Vitamin C and highly skeptical (rightly so according to the National Institutes of Health) of Echinacea, I have no idea what Royal Jelly, Bee Propolis, and Lemon Bioflavenoids are supposed to do for me during cold and flu season.

I remember Royal Jelly from a Nancy Drew book that involved some runners and a Russian athletic diva (after considerable internet research it turned out to be Nancy Drew No. 96, The Case of the Photo Finish). Bee propolis is a sealant for unwanted open spaces in the hive. The example in Wikipedia notes that it would be used if a mouse or lizard crawled into the hive and died there. Unable to carry out the invaders, the bees would seal it in with propolis. Yum!

I can’t find any literature on Lemon Bioflavonoids that isn’t produced by a Vitamin company, but it appears that a study performed in 2007 showed that the antioxidant properties of flavonoids so loved in test tubes didn’t actually perform in the human body. It appears that Trader Joe’s is actually selling us tasty juice full of wishful thinking.

Don’t worry, this stuff won’t hurt you. Plus, the juice tastes pretty darn good and completely lacks any ‘herb’ flavors. If you’re in the mood for some orange juice and your mom is in town and you’d like her to think that you’re taking good care of yourself, put a bottle of Trader Joe’s Defense UP in the fridge.

If you’re not that worried about appearances, regular old orange juice is just as effective as the additives in this beverage.

Kern’s says: Made from whole fruit from concentrate with other natural flavors

Abi says: For a long time, I’ve been in love with the “First 4 Ingredients” notation at Writers and Artists Snacking At Work. While reading the ingredients list on Kern’s Apricot Nectar, I was reminded of that writing tool and decided to use it to show you why this was a mistake of a beverage purchase.

First 4 ingredients:

• Water
• High Fructose Corn Syrup
• Apricot Puree Concentrate
• Natural Flavor

Yes, this drink contains more High Fructose Corn Syrup than fruit. Ew. It only took one sip to make me realize that I’d chosen the worst ever possible accompaniment for my falafel. I was hoping for a sweet, refreshing alternative to my Mediterranean food and instead I got a tongue-coating nuclear orange nightmare.

Do yourself a favor and stay far, far away from Kern’s Apricot Nectar. Unless you enjoy drinking sugary orange-colored syrup masquerading a juice. If so, I’ve got just the drink for you.

San Pellegrino says: Sparkling Lemon Beverage

Abi says: My local Whole Foods has a terrific deli. Oh, the crepes are perhaps the most horrible crepes I’ve ever had in my life, but the teriyaki and Indian and barbecue and burritos are all pretty darn good. Add the hot bar, several soups, and gorgeous salad fixings and you’ve got my favorite buffet in town. Except for one little problem: no Diet Coke. That’s right, it is impossible to get a Diet Coke at Whole Foods. And most other drinks there are crazy expensive. I like juice, but if I’m eating an entire meal, I don’t want to pay another $4.00 for an Odwalla Cranberry-Lime Drink. Enough is enough!

That’s why I go for San Pellegrino Limonata. It complements just about any meal, is light and refreshing, and at 99¢ is just about the cheapest beverage you can get at Whole Foods and it comes all of the way from Italy. The terrifically short ingredients list doesn’t hurt either:

• Water
• Lemon Juice from concentrate
• Sugar
• Carbon Dioxide
• Natural Flavors
• L-Ascorbic Acid

One thing I should point out is that this drink, which is best described as ’sparkling lemonade’, clocks in at 180 calories. It might be High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, but it isn’t a spa treatment. Of course, you could drink this and pretend that you’re at a spa. In Milan. Resting after watching a fashion show. It makes the lack of Diet Coke more bearable.

Burger King says: Wake up with the King

Abi says: I don’t know about you, but waking up with the King would scary the holy bejeezus out of me, prompting such questions as “Oh my Lord did someone slip something into my beverage last night?” and “Wait, did my fiance turn into the Burger King King? Is this some kind of sick joke?”

Fortunately for my liver, I don’t wake up with the King too often, preferring instead to wake up with my Keurig coffee maker (still in the testing stage because I’m not quite sure I can do a lifetime of weak coffee). But sometimes you find yourself at the San Jose airport at 7:30am and you’ve already consumed a tall soy chai and even though it only took you 5 minutes to get through security (incredible, eh?) it took 25 minutes to get through the Starbucks line and aside from that, nothing in their little pastry cage looks worth $3.00. So you notice that folks everywhere are drinking Burger King coffee and you figure that they must be getting through the line in an expedient manner.

Via the BK, I ate a Croissan’wich (bad idea, am never doing again, discarded partially eaten), home fries (mmm, potatoes), and studiously avoided the coffee. You see, it had to last me for the entire pre-boarding process. And since I was in the Southwest Cattle Call B group (on a smaller regional jet this means ‘last and sitting in the middle, sucker’), I figured that the styrofoam-encased BK Joe would last me at least 45 minutes.

It didn’t. I finished the piping hot coffee in about 20 minutes. More delicious than gas station coffee, but not quite as good as the brew at McDonalds (I can’t believe I just complimented McDonalds), with half a packet of equal and a bit of fresh half-and-half I was happy to sip my Burger King Joe and watch the hum of the airport while my brain awoke. Then I spent the rest of my wait time trying to read my neighbor’s New York Time in an inconspicuous manner. This is difficult because they use such small print.

The next time I’m at San Jose International, I’ll probably skip the Starbucks line and head straight to Burger King for some simple, fresh-tasting (I have no idea how fresh it was, rumor says they use pre-brewed liquid coffee) coffee and maybe this time I’ll try some of those French Toast Sticks.