Miller High Life

Miller High LifePrice: $3.69 for six
Serving: 12oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 143 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 7mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13.1g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per bottle

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Miller Brewing says: Miller High Life, the “champagne of beers,” is a timeless American beer dating back to 1903. Miller High Life is a classic American-style lager recognized for its consistently crisp, smooth taste, classic clear-glass bottle and its famous “Girl in the Moon” symbol. Miller High Life embraces its rich heritage and is positioned as a refreshingly authentic beer. For our target consumer, Miller High Life is a refuge for the real in an increasingly pretentious world. As the best beer value in America, we encourage our target consumers to “Take Back the High Life.”

We say: Right now Miller is running a campaign in which delivery men walk into Dean and Deluca look-a-likes and take all of the Miller High Life. They are the anti-delivery men and they are taking back the High Life from snooty stores.

As though they even sell the High Life there.

Why not take the Sarah Maclachlan music video guilt trip route and just say “Miller High Life: $3.69 for a six pack. And by not making a commercial we brought water to 7 African villages.”?

Yeah, that’s the whole ad campaign. Or don’t make ad campaign. Be like Trader Joe’s and make High Life the next 2-buck-Chuck, relying on word-of-mouth to boost sales. Oh wait, word of mouth campaigns rely on a product being good, whereas this beer is just cheap.

So, if you’re looking for a relatively cheap way to get drunk, pick up a six-pack of Miller High Life. You’ll seem semi-classy because it comes in bottles, though if you’re anal about recycling (like us) that will probably suck for you because you’ll be forced to put the bottles back in your messenger bag and take them home where they can be properly recycled.

Give us a break, we’re from Oregon.

[If you aren’t familiar with the Miller High Life Delivery Guys commercials, here’s the restaurant version:

We love the part where the delivery man scoffs at the $11.50 hamburger, saying “$11.50 hamburger, y’all must be crazy.” The first time around, we (being East Coast people) didn’t get it, thinking ‘Yeah, $11.50 is a bit much for a hamburger, but not if it comes with guacamole, cheddar cheese, bacon and a side of tater tots.’

Maybe these commercials aren’t for us. Maybe these commercials are for people who eat at What-a-burger, people who laugh at the idea of $11.50 hamburger, people who go apoplectic when they visit New York or L.A.]

September 1, 2007 | 2 Comments 
Filed Under United States, Miller Brewing, Alcohol, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Beer, Three Stars

Saxbys Coffee Cafe Americana

Saxbys Coffee Cafe AmericanaPrice: $1.85 plus tax
Serving: 12 oz.
Calories: 10 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 0g
Caffeine: 150mg

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Saxbys says: Our espresso [beans] give a crema to die for. Full of body from Central America and Indonesian coffees.

We say: We drink Americanos (or in Saxbys’s case ‘Americanas’) because they’re just like regular coffee, but made fresh for you right at that instant. Given the choice between coffee that was produced 30 minutes ago and coffee that we can witness being made, we’ll go for the visible version anytime.

However, the Saxbys on Washington DC’s 19th St. NW is still working out some kinks when it comes to consistency. This is partly due to our request for ‘room’ in the Americanoa and partly because half of the freaking time the crema has somehow been destroyed. What gives? Last week the crema was perfect and the Saxbys Americana is a divine experience. Today it just tasted like plain old coffee, not a drink that we paid an extra 35 cents for.

With a rise in consistency, the Saxbys Coffee Cafe Americana could rise to 4 stars, but for now it is squarely in the realm of mediocrity.

August 24, 2007 | 2 Comments 
Filed Under Saxbys Coffee, Coffee, Fat Free, All Natural, Coffee, Three Stars

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