Diet Coke Plus

Diet Coke PlusPrice: $4.99 per 12 pack
Serving: 12oz., 1 can
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 0 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 2%, 45mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 38g
Weight Watchers Points: 0 points

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The Coca Cola Company says: Diet Coke Plus is everything you love about Diet Coke, plus several essential nutrients.

We say: If you didn’t know it before, be warned now that we love Diet Coke. In fact, it the most frequently consumed beverage in our office (including water). Knowing this (and discounting the Orwellian name), we thought that our coworkers would rejoice when we brought in some Diet Coke Plus. You know, the Diet Coke with vitamins and minerals. After all, who doesn’t want to feel as though they’re doing something good just by drinking soda?

Our coworkers didn’t feel the same way. One pointed out that the packaging was awfully gay. Not gay as in happy, but gay as in homosexual. And this was a gay coworker, so we felt that he had a definite level of expertise when it came to calling something gay. What makes Diet Coke Plus gay? The rainbow stripe and teal highlights, that’s what. Not wanting to argue that point (really, who cares if a beverage is gay or not?) we were confronted by another coworker who claimed that it wasn’t as fizzy as regular Diet Coke.

Lacking a fizz-o-meter, there’s just no way to verify that one. Also, she isn’t exactly the Queen of Carbonation, so we didn’t give in so quickly on that claim.

What we can tell you is that there’s a very serious reason why we, supreme Diet Coke lovers, bought only a 12-pack of this stuff and never looked at it again: it tastes a bit like Dr. Pepper. This of course leads us to wonder whether all vitamins and minerals, when added to soda, taste like Dr. Pepper. Also, could one add B6 and Niacin and Magnesium to Dr. Pepper without anyone knowing the difference?

September 5, 2007 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under Contains Aspartame, Zero Calorie, United States, Cola, Coca Cola, Soda, Fat Free, One Star

Honest Ade Cranberry Lemonade

Honest Ade Cranberry LemonadePrice: $1.19 at Whole Foods
Serving: 1/2 bottle, 8 ounces.
Nutrition Information Below for Entire Bottle
Calories: 100
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 10%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 24g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 24g
Calcium: 35%

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Honest Tea says: When the beverage aisle kept handing us lemons, we made lemonade. That’s because we were thirsty, and tired of super-sweet drinks filled with stuff we couldn’t pronounce. Introducing HONEST ADE. Ours tastes fresh-squeezed - like what you get from a summer lemonade stand, but with a kick of cranberry. It’s pure organic bliss - must a tad sweet so it gets your taste buds doing the mambo without going into sugar shock. All that’s missing is one of those colorful paper drink umbrellas. Real fruit. Real flavor. Honest.

We say: Considering the wonderful tart-sour combination created by cranberry and lemon, this drink should make you pucker up and say Hello! Too bad that it can’t deliver on the promises that the label makes. Honest Tea took a great concept and watered it down to the point of pointlessness. Plus, this thing is less than 1% juice. Seth and Barry, the owners of Honest Tea must have shunted their ethics to the side when they claimed “Honest Ade, our line of refreshing thirst quenchers, have twice the fresh-squeezed taste of those super-sweet drinks.”

We don’t want something super-sweet, but does that preclude a little tartness and flavor? There’s no good reason to drink this bland, over-organic-cane-sugared concoction unless you’re allergic to clear water and need something with a little carrot-extract-created color.

Should a beverage with the word ‘cranberry’ in the name need carrot extract for coloring? We think not.

August 25, 2007 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under No Genetically Modified Organisms, Gluten Free, Cranberry, Lemonade, Honest Tea, Organic, Juice Cocktails, One Star