Port City Java Lemonade
Price: $3.50
Serving: 16oz.
Calories: 140 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0.3g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 7mg
Protein: 0.3g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 33.9g
Fiber: 2%, 0.4g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 points
Port City Java says: You won’t believe how this one is made. Apples and lemons, all-natural.
Abi says: For the last couple of weeks, Washington, DC has experienced some of the most glorious autumn weather imaginable. While I loved such a delightful send-off, wearing shorts in October felt a bit amiss. And avoiding coffee in the morning because, hello - freaking hot - also meant that I arrived at work sans-caffeine buzz. It was great to go for evening walks in little more than a sun dress, but during the day it was evident that warm days ≠ gorgeous fall foliage.
All of this insane weather has me craving summery foods and beverages. I’m not ready for root vegetables and pumpkins! Give me sno cones, hot dogs, lemonade, and cold beer! Basically, I want to live in a baseball game. And that baseball-game inhabiting self just about drooled when I saw approximately 18 people drinking tall, icy glasses of lemonade outside of the Eastern Market Port City Java.
“Ah!” I thought with glee “That’s just what I need! Lemonade!” Yes, my mind is that exclamatory.
While my friend Lisa checked out one of the myriad clothing sellers, I braved the line in anticipation of a tartly sugarrific expression of the last days of summer. And then waited some more for them to make my lemonade. And after about 5 minutes I started thinking “Where the hell is my lemonade already?”
“One lemonade on the bar!” called the person who could only be described as ‘The Juicer.’ I took one look at the bar and thought “That cannot possibly be my lemonade.” Scroll back up the page and take a look at it: opaquely cloudy, decidedly non-yellow, and definitely not containing a lemon wedge.
“Is this the lemonade?” I asked the barrista, who assured that yes, it was indeed the lemonade. I took an exploratory sip, worrying that I was about to experience a horrific meeting of dairy and unknown orangey fruits, when the taste of fantastically tart lemon zipped across my tongue. This was lemonade. Real lemonade. Really good lemonade.
I have a feeling that this drink consists solely of apple cider and lemons. From that sentence you might think that I didn’t like the drink. But then you would be wrong. It is everything you’d expect from that fresh-squeezed stuff you pay big bucks for at a ballgame, but instead of using sugar, or (God forbid!) high fructose corn syrup, Port City Java uses apples and lemons.
I don’t know exactly how they do it, but this drink it magical.
Filed Under Vegan, United States, Port City Java, Lemonade, Five Stars, All Natural, Juice, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free
Bell’s Batch 8,000 Ale
Price: $13.99 for six
Serving: 12 fl. oz., 1 bottle
Calories: 283
Alcohol: 9.00% ABV
Bell’s Brewery says: Batch 8,000 is part of our commemerative series celebrating our progress with special brews. Our 8,000th batch is a special recipe to be brewed only once. It is a wheat ale spiced with Coriander, Orange Peel, and Paradise Seed. Best consumed fresh.
Joe says: Most breweries are somewhat hit and miss with their beers, but Bell’s is one of the few that, for me, consistently makes an enjoyable beer. Maybe there’s something special in the water out in Comstock, Michigan, or maybe Larry Bell just really knows what he is doing. Either way, Bell’s Batch 8,000 Ale is a once-in-a-lifetime event that certainly lives up to the quality that I have come to expect from Bell’s beers.
At 9% ABV, I was expecting this beer to zing like other similarly strong beers that I love (e.g. Bell’s Third Coast Old Ale). I was, however, pleasantly surprised by its smoothness—Batch 8,000 is so smooth that it almost drinks like a 5%. But be careful with this refreshing beer, because while it goes down easy, it still kicks like a kangaroo.
The combination of the coriander, orange peel, and witbier style gives Batch 8,000 a very autumnal flavor—it almost tastes like those dried apricots you see next to the raisins and dates in the supermarket. The actual taste probably sits somewhere in between Blue Moon (original) and Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale, but a bit stronger, beerier, and better. And, while it doesn’t approach the fruity blast of the delicious Pyramid Apricot Weizen, it hints at fruit just enough to make this the perfect compliment to a traditional US Thanksgiving turkey dinner.
At $13.99 for a case of six, the price is really the only factor that would rule out Bell’s Batch 8,000 as a staple beer for me. However, since this is a one-time limited release, I am going to buy some more while I still can—if I can track down a store that has any left.
Sainsbury's Vanilla Bean & Honey Smoothie
Price: £1.29
Serving: 250 ml, 8.5 fluid oz.
Calories: 246 per serving
Total Fat: 6.8g
Saturated Fat: 4.8g
Protein: 9.0g
Carbohydrates: 37.3g
Fiber: traceg
Sugar: 33.0g
Salt: 0.3g
Calcium:30% RDA
Sainsbury’s says: Silky smooth wholemilk yogurt blended with rich vanilla beans and golden Argentinean honey.
We say: Yogurt smoothies are the halfway house between food and drink. They fill that low-blood-sugar gap that occurs in the late afternoon and taste delicious to boot. This drink is perfect for a ‘Leave me alone I’m having a moment’ comfort indulgence and should not be shared, even with one’s supposed life partner. Requests for sharing will likely be met with glaring and possibly violence as you defend this ambrosia of a yogurt smoothie.
When Sainsbury’s says their smoothies are “silky smooth” they aren’t kidding - if this smoothie was a human it would be the king of cool, hanging out in swank lounges and chilling with all of the fine ladies. Before you know it you’ll be at the bottom of the bottle wondering what happened to all of that deliciousness. Of course, when we got to that point we had a momentary lapse of sanity and considered pulling out a pair of scissors and cutting apart the entire bottle to lick out every last drop. Yes, we’re that desperate.
As an added bonus, Sainsbury’s went the natural route, using the simple ingredients of whole milk yogurt, apple juice (for natural sweetening and thinning the yoghurt), Argentinean honey, vanilla extract, vanilla beans.
We’re not sure why they needed to point out that the honey was from Argentina because it wasn’t sexy or dressed as a bullfighter. So, does provenance make any sort of difference? The non-Argentinean vanilla provides subtle but still strong flavor, combining with the South American honey to give this a comfort food factor of 10. At 246 calories, the size of a ‘diet’ microwave meal, this is an unfortunately hefty drink, but that’s what we get for enjoying something so unbelievably creamy.
Filed Under Probiotic Bacteria, Vanilla, Sainsbury's, United Kingdom, Smoothies, Five Stars
Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Price Per Mini Bottle: $5.00 at Arena Stage
Price Per Liter: $15.00 at a liquor store
Serving: 1.5 fluid ounces
Calories: 100
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
Jim Beam says: Experts believe that the time bourbon spends in the barrel produces its true character. Jim Beam Bourbon ages for a minimum of a full four years (twice the Federal mandate) to perfect its rich amber glow and uncommonly smooth taste.
We say: Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon reminds us of late summer days in Texas. Humid, gray, sodden days when tropical storms rolled in off the Gulf of Mexico, preventing beach trips and encouraging games of Texas Hold ‘em and the consumption of Brobdingnagian cups of Jim Beam and ice.
Jim Beam is the ideal gateway whiskey, featuring a sweet smoothness attractive to people who are not yet alcoholics. And at just $15.00 per liter, it is an affordable way to provide a semi-classy mixer at your next event or make killer apple cider.
Our preferred Jim Beam drinking method takes place on unbelievably hot days. Simply fill a glass with medium-to-small ice cubes (not big ones; they don’t melt quickly enough), then pour the bourbon over your glass of ice. Beginners may want to use a shot glass to measure the pour. Once you’ve made the drink, have a seat poolside or on the porch, play some cards, and slowly sip your fantastic glass of bourbon.
Filed Under Jim Beam, Bourbon, Liquor, Alcohol, Five Stars, All Natural, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free
Trader Joe’s Organic Chocolate 2% Milk
Price Per Box: 4 for $3.00
Serving: 1 container, 8.25 oz.
Calories: 230
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 5%, 130mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 3%, 1g
Sugar: 30g
Calcium: 35%
Trader Joe’s says: Shelf stable chocolate milk? It’s like moo-sic to our ears! Keep these convenient, single serve packages in your pantry until you’re ready to use them. Best chilled, this chocolate milk is udderly convenient and organic to boot!
We say: The complete name of this beverage is Trader Joe’s Organic Chocolate 2% Milkfat Reduced Fat Milk. The words ‘milk’ and ‘fat’ each appear TWICE in that title. Also, they mention that it is ‘best chilled’. After consuming this milk at lukewarm, we can say that under no circumstances should this one drink this milk at any other temperature than icy.
Now that the labeling shenanigans are over, please be aware that this is not a ‘health’ item. Sure it is only 2% milk (not whole!), but it still packs in a whopping 30 grams of sugar. We happen to not give a damn about that. Why? Because it is super-freaking-chocolatey. And not chocolatey in the sense of candies that contain pseudo chocolate (Baby Ruth, we’re looking at you), but chocolatey in the way that a S’more contains chocolate.
We’re giving this milk 5 stars for these 5 important reasons:
- It is shelf stable. While this might seem creepy, in actuality it is fantastic and will give you more fridge space for beer.
- Zero grams trans fat.
- Organic. Meaning it won’t make us prepubescent at age 7
- Chocolate! Wonderful, wonderful chocolate chocolatiness.
Warning: do not consume with something else chocolatey (Oreos, brownies, etc.) or the milk will be overpowered. - Cheaper than osteoporosis.
- Comes with a straw
Yeah, that’s 6, so sue us.
Filed Under Chocolate, Organic, Trader Joe's, Milk, Dairy, Five Stars
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