Dannon Light & Fit Mixed Berry Smoothie

Dannon Light & Fit Mixed Berry SmoothiePrice: 95¢ for one bottle
Serving: 1 bottle, 7 fluid ounces.
Calories: 70
Alcohol by Volume: None
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 1%, <5mg
Potassium: 7%, 230mg
Sodium: 4%, 85mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 12g
Phosphorus: 15%

Dannon says: Want a deliciously easy way to maintain your balanced lifestyle even when you’re on the run? Enjoy a DANNON™ Light & Fit Smoothie™! No smoothie is lighter than DANNON™ Light & Fit™ Smoothies. With a great taste and only 60 calories per 7 fl oz bottle, you can drink them every day. Do something good for yourself today - have a Light & Fit™ Smoothie.

We say: On summery Saturday mornings we enjoy walking to the local farmer’s market to pick up peaches, a fresh baguette, and a chocolate croissant. When it is cool we go for a small cup of coffee. When it is boiling hot outside (as it was this last weekend), we pick up experimental drinks from the bakery cold case.

Today, the 95¢ sign advertising these smoothies caught my eye. After all, what could be better on an intensely hot and humid day than a yogurt-based smoothie? It turns out that there are approximately 18 zillion items more palatable that this drink.

Dannon’s Light & Fit Smoothie is the sort of beverage that makes you feel virtuous for being on a diet. That’s how awful it tastes. The flavor is nothing but pure artificial intensity, the entire smoothie is only 3 percent fruit, and the color is approximately the shade of a jaundiced version of Grimace. The major culprit in this drink disaster is overuse of Splenda. Just because the marketing folks say it tastes like sugar doesn’t mean that it actually tastes like sugar. And even if it did taste just like real sugar, there is far too much of it in this beverage.

We drank approximately half the bottle before deciding that if long life and health meant surviving off of Dannon smoothies, we’d rather be slightly plump and dead.

July 26, 2008 | 2 Comments 
Filed Under Berry, Dairy, Dannon, Fat Free, Smoothies, Zero Stars

Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey

Jim Beam Bourbon WhiskeyPrice Per Mini Bottle: $5.00 at Arena Stage
Price Per Liter: $15.00 at a liquor store
Serving: 1.5 fluid ounces
Calories: 100
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g

*****

Jim Beam says: Experts believe that the time bourbon spends in the barrel produces its true character. Jim Beam Bourbon ages for a minimum of a full four years (twice the Federal mandate) to perfect its rich amber glow and uncommonly smooth taste.

We say: Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon reminds us of late summer days in Texas. Humid, gray, sodden days when tropical storms rolled in off the Gulf of Mexico, preventing beach trips and encouraging games of Texas Hold ‘em and the consumption of Brobdingnagian cups of Jim Beam and ice.

Jim Beam is the ideal gateway whiskey, featuring a sweet smoothness attractive to people who are not yet alcoholics. And at just $15.00 per liter, it is an affordable way to provide a semi-classy mixer at your next event or make killer apple cider.

Our preferred Jim Beam drinking method takes place on unbelievably hot days. Simply fill a glass with medium-to-small ice cubes (not big ones; they don’t melt quickly enough), then pour the bourbon over your glass of ice. Beginners may want to use a shot glass to measure the pour. Once you’ve made the drink, have a seat poolside or on the porch, play some cards, and slowly sip your fantastic glass of bourbon.

July 25, 2008 | 1 Comment 
Filed Under Alcohol, All Natural, Bourbon, Fat Free, Five Stars, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Jim Beam, Liquor

Saxbys Coffee Cafe Americana

Saxbys Coffee Cafe AmericanaPrice: $1.85 plus tax
Serving: 12 oz.
Calories: 10 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 0g
Caffeine: 150mg

***

Saxbys says: Our espresso [beans] give a crema to die for. Full of body from Central America and Indonesian coffees.

We say: We drink Americanos (or in Saxbys’s case ‘Americanas’) because they’re just like regular coffee, but made fresh for you right at that instant. Given the choice between coffee that was produced 30 minutes ago and coffee that we can witness being made, we’ll go for the visible version anytime.

However, the Saxbys on Washington DC’s 19th St. NW is still working out some kinks when it comes to consistency. This is partly due to our request for ‘room’ in the Americanoa and partly because half of the freaking time the crema has somehow been destroyed. What gives? Last week the crema was perfect and the Saxbys Americana is a divine experience. Today it just tasted like plain old coffee, not a drink that we paid an extra 35 cents for.

With a rise in consistency, the Saxbys Coffee Cafe Americana could rise to 4 stars, but for now it is squarely in the realm of mediocrity.

July 24, 2008 | 2 Comments 
Filed Under All Natural, Coffee, Coffee, Fat Free, Saxbys Coffee, Three Stars

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