Trader Joe's Defense UP

Trader JoePrice: $2.69 plus tax
Serving: 1/2 bottle, 8 oz.
Calories: 120 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 15mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 29g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
Sugar: 28g
Caffeine: 0mg

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Trader Joe says: A blend of juice, herbs & vitamin C combined to fortify you.

Abi says: Unsaid on the bottles, but definitely implied is that this beverage will protect you from colds and flus and all-around general illness. Check out this list (by the way, this product is NSFV or Not Safe For Vegans):

While I’m familiar with Vitamin C and highly skeptical (rightly so according to the National Institutes of Health) of Echinacea, I have no idea what Royal Jelly, Bee Propolis, and Lemon Bioflavenoids are supposed to do for me during cold and flu season.

I remember Royal Jelly from a Nancy Drew book that involved some runners and a Russian athletic diva (after considerable internet research it turned out to be Nancy Drew No. 96, The Case of the Photo Finish). Bee propolis is a sealant for unwanted open spaces in the hive. The example in Wikipedia notes that it would be used if a mouse or lizard crawled into the hive and died there. Unable to carry out the invaders, the bees would seal it in with propolis. Yum!

I can’t find any literature on Lemon Bioflavonoids that isn’t produced by a Vitamin company, but it appears that a study performed in 2007 showed that the antioxidant properties of flavonoids so loved in test tubes didn’t actually perform in the human body. It appears that Trader Joe’s is actually selling us tasty juice full of wishful thinking.

Don’t worry, this stuff won’t hurt you. Plus, the juice tastes pretty darn good and completely lacks any ‘herb’ flavors. If you’re in the mood for some orange juice and your mom is in town and you’d like her to think that you’re taking good care of yourself, put a bottle of Trader Joe’s Defense UP in the fridge.

If you’re not that worried about appearances, regular old orange juice is just as effective as the additives in this beverage.

October 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under All Natural, Apple, Fat Free, Four Stars, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Juice, No Preservatives, Orange, Pineapple, Trader Joe's

Naked Just Juice Orange Juice

Naked Just Juice Orange JuicePrice: $3.58 (including tax - yikes!)
Serving: 1/2 bottle, 8 oz.
Nutrition info below is per serving, not per bottle
Calories: 110 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 8%, 25g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 25g

*****

Naked Juice says: Okay, so our OJ is just OJ, as defined by: Just the gorgeous, pristine, oh so sweet juice of the amazingly perfect orange, with tons of Vitamin C and sensational antioxidants to ruin a free radical’s day. It’s also just O-J, as in 9 oranges just picked, squeezed, bottle and rushed to your eager, orange-juice-loving but preservative-loathing self. So just shake, just chug and just say “I just love this stuff.”

We say: We had a brief moment of worry upon consuming 9 ORANGES in twenty minutes. My God, if the people who ran those eating competitions also allowed juicers, we might be able to beat the Black Widow of competitive eating, Sonya Thomas. Of course, if she also had a juicer than the edge would be moot.

While it seems a bit cliché to rate the first drink review a 5-star drink, we have to say that the only way you could possibly get better orange juice would be to travel to Florida and drink freshly-squeezed juice. Oh, you say that you can make better fresh orange juice at home? Well, you are wrong because it is not possible.

September 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under All Natural, Fat Free, Five Stars, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Juice, Naked Juice, Orange

Izze Sparkling Clementine

Izze Sparkling ClementinePrice: $1.79
Serving: 12oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 135 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 15mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 33g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per bottle

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Izze says: Clementines, sweet little cousins to the orange, have been used throughout history as both aphrodisiacs and characters in catchy banjo tunes, though rarely at the same time. Then again, nothing quite gets us in the mood like an old miner’s song.

We say: Since Starbucks dropped Jones Soda products in June, Izze is as close as we’re going to get to having a carbonated beverage in the coffee mecca. That’s right, no more Root Beer with cute pictures, no more clear Cream Soda, and no more weird Blue stuff that we never drink but just stare at while trying to decide whether or not the ceasar salad wrap is safe to eat.

Instead, we get Izze, owned by Pepsi (they also bottle those nasty Frappuccinos). Izze is simply fruit juice, soda water, natural colors (beta carotene in this case) and natural flavors (we have no idea what those are, they don’t tell us). Izze’s Sparkling Clementine is also fantastically good-looking, with minimalist decorations on the bottles, terrific colors (thanks, beta carotene!) and a classy font. Because typefaces are really, really important when choosing a beverage.

Izze beverages are just the sort of thing that one sees in Starbucks, but never in real life at our grocery store. Okay, so they might be at your grocery store (if you shop at Whole Foods), but since we haven’t seen them we are pretending that they only exist in the alternate universe known as Starbucks. Izze sparkling beverages shall henceforth be known as Schrodinger’s Soda.

While it isn’t something we’d drink every day (a case of 12 is $17.00 at Whole Foods - yikes!). It is nice for an occasional treat. You know, for when you want to feel like virtuous yuppy.

August 4, 2008 | 4 Comments 
Filed Under All Natural, Fat Free, Four Stars, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Izze, Juice Cocktails, Orange, United States