Columbia Gorge Organic Apple Cider

Columbia Gorge Organic Apple CiderPrice: $2.50
Serving: 12oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 180 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 3%, 67mg
Protein: 9g
Carbohydrates: 15%, 43g
Fiber: 7%, 2g
Sugar: 39g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 Points

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Columbia Gorge says: Unparalleled in the world of apple ciders. We blend several different kinds of apples to achieve the tart yet sweet flavor of this cider. Making it from soil-enriched grown organic apples is the best way to taste the real apple flavor.

Abi Says: In Washington State, Fall means apples and apples mean cider. Okay, cider and apple sauce and deliciously cinnamony pies. But this is not a pie blog.

During a six-day visit to Seattle I figured that I’d just drink my way across every coffee shop in town. This is a good idea in theory, but in actuality it means jitters, possible tooth stains, and peeing all the freaking time.

In order to avoid the uncomfortable side-effects of diuretics, every noontime I switched to juices. Sometimes it was the blackberry version of an Izze sparkling soda and other days I turned to one of these adorable bottles of juice from the Columbia Gorge Juice Company.

The organic cider was lighter and clearer than I expected, a forewarning that the drink would exhibit few of the qualities of farm-fresh pressed cider. Columbia Gorge delivers a refreshing drink, made simply with organic apples. However, their cider walks a line between juice and true cider.

So, if you’re looking for something to mull with spices and wine, or spike with a bit of Jack Daniels and you have lots of cash to burn, you can’t go wrong with this cider.

March 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under Vegan, Apple, United States, No Preservatives, Columbia Gorge Organics, No Genetically Modified Organisms, Organic, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, All Natural, Juice, Fat Free, Four Stars

Trader Joe's Defense UP

Trader JoePrice: $2.69 plus tax
Serving: 1/2 bottle, 8 oz.
Calories: 120 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 15mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 29g
Fiber: 4%, 1g
Sugar: 28g
Caffeine: 0mg

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Trader Joe says: A blend of juice, herbs & vitamin C combined to fortify you.

Abi says: Unsaid on the bottles, but definitely implied is that this beverage will protect you from colds and flus and all-around general illness. Check out this list (by the way, this product is NSFV or Not Safe For Vegans):

While I’m familiar with Vitamin C and highly skeptical (rightly so according to the National Institutes of Health) of Echinacea, I have no idea what Royal Jelly, Bee Propolis, and Lemon Bioflavenoids are supposed to do for me during cold and flu season.

I remember Royal Jelly from a Nancy Drew book that involved some runners and a Russian athletic diva (after considerable internet research it turned out to be Nancy Drew No. 96, The Case of the Photo Finish). Bee propolis is a sealant for unwanted open spaces in the hive. The example in Wikipedia notes that it would be used if a mouse or lizard crawled into the hive and died there. Unable to carry out the invaders, the bees would seal it in with propolis. Yum!

I can’t find any literature on Lemon Bioflavonoids that isn’t produced by a Vitamin company, but it appears that a study performed in 2007 showed that the antioxidant properties of flavonoids so loved in test tubes didn’t actually perform in the human body. It appears that Trader Joe’s is actually selling us tasty juice full of wishful thinking.

Don’t worry, this stuff won’t hurt you. Plus, the juice tastes pretty darn good and completely lacks any ‘herb’ flavors. If you’re in the mood for some orange juice and your mom is in town and you’d like her to think that you’re taking good care of yourself, put a bottle of Trader Joe’s Defense UP in the fridge.

If you’re not that worried about appearances, regular old orange juice is just as effective as the additives in this beverage.

January 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under Trader Joe's, Apple, Pineapple, No Preservatives, Fat Free, Orange, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, All Natural, Juice, Four Stars

Hornsby’s Amber Draft Hard Cider

Hornsby’s Amber Draft Hard CiderPrice: $6.00 per 6 pack
Serving: 1 bottle, 12 ounces.
Calories: 170
Alcohol by Volume: 6%
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 25mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 5%, 16g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 9g

Hornsby’s says: There’s no blurb on the bottle, no website, and no mention from Gallo that this beverage is a part of their product portfolio.

We say: You could easily replicate the flavor of Hornsby’s Amber Draft Hard Cider by leaving a bottle of opened apple juice in your fridge for several weeks. Or you could try your hand at prison wine, an extraordinary concoction detailed in Steve, Don’t Eat It! Volume 8. The ‘Is this spoiled or is this how it is supposed to taste?’ effect is unsettling in a just-opened beverage, so the cider has now been sitting on the kitchen counter for a full 20 minutes while we contemplate just pouring it down the drain.

But that would be a waste of .72 ounces of alcohol (12 fluid ounces times 6% Alcohol by Volume) and the world’s foremost beverage review site is not about to let perfectly good hard cider go to waste.

Except that this isn’t perfectly good hard cider. The 2nd and 3rd swigs simply confirm that there is something very, very wrong with this drink. Perhaps it could be improved by repurposing the beverage as an entertainment device. Simply serve this to your friends and watch their faces contort in horror.

Fun in a bottle.

August 26, 2007 | 3 Comments 
Filed Under Apple, Hornsby's, Alcohol, Hard Cider, Zero Stars