Stonyfield Farm Organic Peach Smoothie

Stonyfield Farm Organic Peach SmoothiePrice: $1.69
Serving: 10oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 240 per serving
Fat: 5%, 3g
Cholesterol: 3%, 10mg
Sodium: 6%, 140mg
Protein: 20%, 10g
Carbohydrates: 14%, 42g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 40g
Phosphorus: 30%
Calcium: 40%
Weight Watchers Points: 5 points

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Stonyfield Farm says: Every delicious sip of this incredibly smooth and refreshing drink delivers all of the natural benefits of our yogurts - calcium, protein, dietary fiber and six live active cultures. Now that’s a toast to your health. Cheers!

We say: Luscious summery peaches are the perfect complement to the creamy sweetness of yogurt. Not that yogurt needs a ‘complement’ per se, just that sometimes you need a little something to go along with the yogurt and really, who wants to glug down a bottle of vanilla anyways? Is it really that satisfying?

Stonyfield is still pleasantly pesticide and hormone free, making their yogurt with all organic ingredients. That’s why I’m still confused by the use of added (albeit natural) coloring in such terrific product. And that’s why I just sent them this letter:

Dear Stonyfield Folks,

We at Imbibable.com love your yogurt smoothies. They are quite fantastic. However, they are also colored with added, unnecessary ingredients. We know that the stuff isn’t bad for us, but we also know that peaches don’t make yogurt bright yellow/orange and raspberries don’t make yogurt a shocking pink. The smoothies come in opaque bottles, so it isn’t as though people are making purchase decisions based on the colors. Would you ever consider getting rid of the beet juice?

Sincerely,
Abi Jones
Editor, Imbibable.com

I hope they get back to me sooner rather than later because it really is quite frightening to look into a bottle of peach yogurt smoothie and see an otherwordly glow emanating from deep within. Orange coloring ≠ thinking highly of this line of smoothies.

Stonyfield Farm Organic Strawberry Smoothie

Stonyfield Farm Organic Strawberry SmoothiePrice: $1.69
Serving: 10oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 230 per serving
Fat: 5%, 3g
Cholesterol: 5%, 15mg
Sodium: 6%, 150mg
Protein: 2g
Carbohydrates: 13%, 40g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 38g
Potassium: 14%, 500mg
Calcium: 40%
Weight Watchers Points: 4 points

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Stonyfield Farm says: Every delicious sip of this incredibly smooth and refreshing drink delivers all fo the natural benefits of our yogurts - calcium, protein, dietary fiber and six live active cultures. Now that’s a taost to your health. Cheers!

We say: New Hampshire is a pretty fantastic place. After all, it has the best campground in the world (Waterville Valley), plenty of hiking, and is the home of Stonyfield Farm.

Granted, the name 'Stonyfield' makes us think of 'Stonybrook' which makes us think of the Baby-sitter's Club and of course then we have to mull over which character would most enjoy this smoothie.

At first we thought it might be Dawn, the child of California hippies. After all, the smoothie is made with 100% certified organic ingredients. Or it might be enjoyed by Claudia, the sweet tooth of the bunch. She'd certainly be satisfied by the 38 grams of sugar. Considering the huge amount of sugar in this drink, Stacy (the diabetic) wouldn't be able to consume any of Stonyfield's smoothies.

In the end, this drink would be Mary Anne's. It is reasonable and predicatable and reliable, all adjectives that we would use to describe Mary Anne. Sadly, just like Mary Anne, this drink also lacks self-confidence, using beet juice concentrate to add color. Isn't about damn time that we admit to ourselves that strawberry juice mixed with 9 ounces of yogurt does not produce a bright pink drink? Yes, we are adults and we can deal with truth in product coloring.

Thankfully, the flavoring in here is simply strawberry. No scary fake flavors, no Splenda, just fruit. And how could this product be improved? For one, we prefer our smoothies a bit thicker (this one was perhaps too drinkable) and we'd prefer Greek-style yogurt as a base. Perhaps Stonyfield can make some tangy fruit-infused smoothies for adults. After all, even the girls of the Baby-sitters Club had to grow up.

[After beginning on the Babysitter's club theme, we had to reference the Wikipedia article about them when we realized that we could not remember Stacy's name. Or whether 'Mary Anne' was one word or two. -Ed.]

Sainsbury's Vanilla Bean & Honey Smoothie

Sainsbury’s Vanilla Bean & Honey SmoothiePrice: £1.29
Serving: 250 ml, 8.5 fluid oz.
Calories: 246 per serving
Total Fat: 6.8g
Saturated Fat: 4.8g
Protein: 9.0g
Carbohydrates: 37.3g
Fiber: traceg
Sugar: 33.0g
Salt: 0.3g
Calcium:30% RDA

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Sainsbury’s says: Silky smooth wholemilk yogurt blended with rich vanilla beans and golden Argentinean honey.

We say: Yogurt smoothies are the halfway house between food and drink. They fill that low-blood-sugar gap that occurs in the late afternoon and taste delicious to boot. This drink is perfect for a ‘Leave me alone I’m having a moment’ comfort indulgence and should not be shared, even with one’s supposed life partner. Requests for sharing will likely be met with glaring and possibly violence as you defend this ambrosia of a yogurt smoothie.

When Sainsbury’s says their smoothies are “silky smooth” they aren’t kidding - if this smoothie was a human it would be the king of cool, hanging out in swank lounges and chilling with all of the fine ladies. Before you know it you’ll be at the bottom of the bottle wondering what happened to all of that deliciousness. Of course, when we got to that point we had a momentary lapse of sanity and considered pulling out a pair of scissors and cutting apart the entire bottle to lick out every last drop. Yes, we’re that desperate.

As an added bonus, Sainsbury’s went the natural route, using the simple ingredients of whole milk yogurt, apple juice (for natural sweetening and thinning the yoghurt), Argentinean honey, vanilla extract, vanilla beans.

We’re not sure why they needed to point out that the honey was from Argentina because it wasn’t sexy or dressed as a bullfighter. So, does provenance make any sort of difference? The non-Argentinean vanilla provides subtle but still strong flavor, combining with the South American honey to give this a comfort food factor of 10. At 246 calories, the size of a ‘diet’ microwave meal, this is an unfortunately hefty drink, but that’s what we get for enjoying something so unbelievably creamy.

Dannon Light & Fit Mixed Berry Smoothie

Dannon Light & Fit Mixed Berry SmoothiePrice: 95¢ for one bottle
Serving: 1 bottle, 7 fluid ounces.
Calories: 70
Alcohol by Volume: None
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 1%, <5mg
Potassium: 7%, 230mg
Sodium: 4%, 85mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 12g
Phosphorus: 15%

Dannon says: Want a deliciously easy way to maintain your balanced lifestyle even when you’re on the run? Enjoy a DANNON™ Light & Fit Smoothie™! No smoothie is lighter than DANNON™ Light & Fit™ Smoothies. With a great taste and only 60 calories per 7 fl oz bottle, you can drink them every day. Do something good for yourself today - have a Light & Fit™ Smoothie.

We say: On summery Saturday mornings we enjoy walking to the local farmer’s market to pick up peaches, a fresh baguette, and a chocolate croissant. When it is cool we go for a small cup of coffee. When it is boiling hot outside (as it was this last weekend), we pick up experimental drinks from the bakery cold case.

Today, the 95¢ sign advertising these smoothies caught my eye. After all, what could be better on an intensely hot and humid day than a yogurt-based smoothie? It turns out that there are approximately 18 zillion items more palatable that this drink.

Dannon’s Light & Fit Smoothie is the sort of beverage that makes you feel virtuous for being on a diet. That’s how awful it tastes. The flavor is nothing but pure artificial intensity, the entire smoothie is only 3 percent fruit, and the color is approximately the shade of a jaundiced version of Grimace. The major culprit in this drink disaster is overuse of Splenda. Just because the marketing folks say it tastes like sugar doesn’t mean that it actually tastes like sugar. And even if it did taste just like real sugar, there is far too much of it in this beverage.

We drank approximately half the bottle before deciding that if long life and health meant surviving off of Dannon smoothies, we’d rather be slightly plump and dead.