Adina Natural Highs Hazelnut Hook Up

Adina Natural Highs Hazelnut Hook UpPrice: $2.49
Serving: 1 can, 8oz
Calories: 110
 Calories from Fat: 20
Fat: 3%, 2g
 Saturated Fat: 7%, 1.5g
 Trans Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 3%, 10mg
Sodium: 11%, 260mg
Protein: 4g
Carbohydrates: 6%, 18g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 18g
Weight Watchers Points: 2 Points

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Adina says: Get a pure rush from this rich, smooth brew - packed with a guarana kick and the antioxidant equivalent of four servings of fruit! We add a sexy swirl of buttery caramel and a splash of reduced-fat milk to our Organic, Fair Trade Colombian coffee. No chemicals - and never, ever anything artificial. Drink no evil.

Abi says: “What does guarana do?” I mused aloud to my coworkers while typing away at Wikipedia.

“Is that the one that helps with memory, or is that another one that starts with a ‘G’? I always get them confused.” One responded. “Or is it that bat poop?”

I shook my head and said “No, that’s guano.”

It turns out that guarana is a fruit that’s 5 times as caffeinated as caffeine. While this was exactly what I needed at 3pm, my taste buds thought otherwise. The Adina Natural Highs Hazelnut Hook Up is just plain gross and reminds me that I really, really need to pay more attention to my senses. When you smell a cold beverage and your stomach flips, that is a bad, bad sign.

As a woman who enjoys the occasional hazelnut (I’m from Oregon, land of filberts) and hazelnut-flavored item (vanilla latte with two pumps of hazelnut syrup) Instead of a creamy nuttiness there was nothing but ultra-sweet blech overlaying weak, milky coffee. The company’s website says that this flavor involves a “sexy swirl of buttery caramel” a statement that makes me wonder if they just don’t know what hazelnuts are. I’ve purchased a couple other items from the Adina Natural Highs series (vanilla and espresso) with the hope that hazelnut is simply a weak point in the line-up.

If you feel like ignoring my advice, you can get a 24-pack of Adina’s Hazelnut Hook Up for $45 from Amazon.com

Ingredients: Fair Trade Organic Colombian coffee (water and coffee), reduced fat (2%) MILK, Fair Trade Organic evaporated cane juice, natural flavors, pectin, guarana.

December 9, 2008 | 3 Comments 
Filed Under 2 Points, All Natural, Coffee, Dairy, Hazelnut, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, One Star, United States

Dannon Light & Fit Mixed Berry Smoothie

Dannon Light & Fit Mixed Berry SmoothiePrice: 95¢ for one bottle
Serving: 1 bottle, 7 fluid ounces.
Calories: 70
Alcohol by Volume: None
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 1%, <5mg
Potassium: 7%, 230mg
Sodium: 4%, 85mg
Protein: 5g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 12g
Phosphorus: 15%

Dannon says: Want a deliciously easy way to maintain your balanced lifestyle even when you’re on the run? Enjoy a DANNON™ Light & Fit Smoothie™! No smoothie is lighter than DANNON™ Light & Fit™ Smoothies. With a great taste and only 60 calories per 7 fl oz bottle, you can drink them every day. Do something good for yourself today - have a Light & Fit™ Smoothie.

We say: On summery Saturday mornings we enjoy walking to the local farmer’s market to pick up peaches, a fresh baguette, and a chocolate croissant. When it is cool we go for a small cup of coffee. When it is boiling hot outside (as it was this last weekend), we pick up experimental drinks from the bakery cold case.

Today, the 95¢ sign advertising these smoothies caught my eye. After all, what could be better on an intensely hot and humid day than a yogurt-based smoothie? It turns out that there are approximately 18 zillion items more palatable that this drink.

Dannon’s Light & Fit Smoothie is the sort of beverage that makes you feel virtuous for being on a diet. That’s how awful it tastes. The flavor is nothing but pure artificial intensity, the entire smoothie is only 3 percent fruit, and the color is approximately the shade of a jaundiced version of Grimace. The major culprit in this drink disaster is overuse of Splenda. Just because the marketing folks say it tastes like sugar doesn’t mean that it actually tastes like sugar. And even if it did taste just like real sugar, there is far too much of it in this beverage.

We drank approximately half the bottle before deciding that if long life and health meant surviving off of Dannon smoothies, we’d rather be slightly plump and dead.

July 26, 2008 | 1 Comment 
Filed Under Berry, Dairy, Dannon, Fat Free, Smoothies, Zero Stars

Trader Joe’s Organic Chocolate 2% Milk

Trader Joe’s Organic Chocolate 2% MilkPrice Per Box: 4 for $3.00
Serving: 1 container, 8.25 oz.
Calories: 230
Fat: 8%, 5g
Cholesterol: 7%, 20mg
Sodium: 5%, 130mg
Protein: 10g
Carbohydrates: 11%, 34g
Fiber: 3%, 1g
Sugar: 30g
Calcium: 35%

*****

Trader Joe’s says: Shelf stable chocolate milk? It’s like moo-sic to our ears! Keep these convenient, single serve packages in your pantry until you’re ready to use them. Best chilled, this chocolate milk is udderly convenient and organic to boot!

We say: The complete name of this beverage is Trader Joe’s Organic Chocolate 2% Milkfat Reduced Fat Milk. The words ‘milk’ and ‘fat’ each appear TWICE in that title. Also, they mention that it is ‘best chilled’. After consuming this milk at lukewarm, we can say that under no circumstances should this one drink this milk at any other temperature than icy.

Now that the labeling shenanigans are over, please be aware that this is not a ‘health’ item. Sure it is only 2% milk (not whole!), but it still packs in a whopping 30 grams of sugar. We happen to not give a damn about that. Why? Because it is super-freaking-chocolatey. And not chocolatey in the sense of candies that contain pseudo chocolate (Baby Ruth, we’re looking at you), but chocolatey in the way that a S’more contains chocolate.

We’re giving this milk 5 stars for these 5 important reasons:

  1. It is shelf stable. While this might seem creepy, in actuality it is fantastic and will give you more fridge space for beer.
  2. Zero grams trans fat.
  3. Organic. Meaning it won’t make us prepubescent at age 7
  4. Chocolate! Wonderful, wonderful chocolate chocolatiness.
    Warning: do not consume with something else chocolatey (Oreos, brownies, etc.) or the milk will be overpowered.
  5. Cheaper than osteoporosis.
  6. Comes with a straw

Yeah, that’s 6, so sue us.

July 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment 
Filed Under Chocolate, Dairy, Five Stars, Milk, Organic, Trader Joe's