Marques de Caceres Rioja Reserva 2000
Price: €18.99
Nutrition Information*
Serving: 5oz., 1/5 bottle
Calories: 105 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: <1%, 7mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 1%, 3g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 23g
Weight Watchers Points: 2 per serving
Wine bottle says: Marques de Caceres GRAN RESERVA es un vino de alta calidad y reconcido prestigo. De distinguido aroma, aterciopelado y generoso al paladr, ha sido envejecido en barrica de roble y largamente afinado en botella para obtener un gran vino de calidad exceptional.
Abi says: Yes, I know: that is an enormous glass of wine. It was modest until I decided that certain people in my home should be studying economics rather than drinking wine. Thus, I would finish the bottle of Rioja.
My decision to start reviewing wine on Imbibable.com led to a near-argument with my fiance (and not just because I took the last of the wine). He claimed that there were many people out there with much more significant (okay, real) qualifications out there who were better qualified to write about Temperanillos and Chiantis and Pinot Grigios.
I agree with him. Those people all have better palates. The problem with them is twofold threefold:
- Availability. When you read about a wine in Wine Spectator or Bon Appetit, how easy is it for you to walk over to your local wine store and pick up a bottle of that wine? It isn’t. It sucks. You basically have to call people to ask if they have what you want and then you feel sort of like an idiot for being the person that requests the wine that they talk about in a magazine. You might as well wait until InStyle comes out every month before you do any shopping with your own judgment. I’m going to talk about wines that are available, wines that you pick up at Trader Joe’s and your local grocery store and Total Beverage and BevMo and Costco. The real wine of the people.
- Price. Sure, you get six servings in a 750ml bottle of wine, so overall a bottle is a good deal. But is it really a good deal? Is that 92 point $28.99 bottle of wine significantly better than that 83 point $12.99 bottle of wine? Most of us can’t tell. I’m going to make an effort to drink wines from a crazy-insane price range (yes, including Two-Buck Chuck) so that I can find the best wine for the money.
- Nutrition Information Who is going to tell you that port is full of calories or that a glass of Bordeaux is just 2 Weight Watchers Points while giving you actual opinions on the taste of the wine? Only Imbibable.com, that’s who.
So, What do I have to say about this wine? Well, before I ever looked at a description of the wine, I noted that it had notes of spice, red fruits, and a heavy, almost tongue-coating mouthfeel. Compared to some younger Chiantis I’ve been drinking recently, this wine seemed to have spent quite awhile in oak.
Now, what did the Winemaker’s Notes from Wine.com have to say?
Spicy, rich, complex Rioja drinking beautifully right now. Deep ruby in color, it is full and intense with a complex bouquet and a depth of ripe fruit which later matches its elegance, richness and full flavor. Marques de Caceras Reserva Red is produced from grapes that are specially selected in certain years for their outstanding quality. It spends just over two years in oak and at least three in the bottle before release.
I am a wine-reviewing genius.
So, will this bottle be available to you? Who knows. I bought it in a duty free shop in the Madrid airport as I was trying to shed the last of my Euros. I spent the equivalent of US $30.00 on this bottle and I can heartily say that I’ve had just as good wine for half that price. Don’t feel like you need to spend $30.00 on a bottle of wine. Even if your friends can read Spanish, they probably won’t mind if you break out something a bit less overpriced.
*Obviously, there’s no ingredients or nutrition label on the wine to let you know about calories and fat and all of those things, so we at Imbibable have taken the liberty of using a variety of data sources (including the U.S. Department of Agriculture) and wineries (when they answer our emails) to get a fairly accurate read on the ‘nutrition’ information in a glass of wine. We might be off by a few calories now and then, but most of the time we’ll be pretty darn close.
Filed Under Wine, Marques de Caceres, Alcohol, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Three Stars
The Famous Grouse Whiskey
Price Per Liter: €9.60
Serving: 1.5 fluid ounces
Calories: 100
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
The Famous Grouse says: Golden, clear and bright; the colour is a hint of the balance of liquids inside: satisfying malts like The Macallan and Highland Park married with fine grain whiskies.
We say: After waking at 4:45 am to catch an 8 am flight out of Rome, Madrid’s airport seemed a good place to consume something ridiculously American (we had to prep for the US) and poke around in the Duty Free shops. Now, most of us already know that Duty Free shops are a complete rip-off. A box of Baci that’s 9 Euro at the Termini suddenly becomes 12 Euro at the Duty Free shop. The same seemed to hold true for just about every single item we checked out, including Balsamic Vinegar tasting sets, olive oil, and pancetta.
Fortunately, they had free samples of whiskey, something every traveler wishes to consume prior to a 9 hour flight over the Atlantic. I can’t tell you whether or not Famous Grouse Whiskey is fantastic. All I can say is that it is smoky and bright, with a fine amber color. Also, you shouldn’t drink it when your body thinks that it is all of 9 o’clock in the morning. Though, if the folks at Famous Grouse wouldn’t mind sending a sample (or coupon - do they make coupons for booze? Is that allowed?) then we’d definitely like to try it again.
Miller High Life
Price: $3.69 for six
Serving: 12oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 143 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 7mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13.1g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per bottle
Miller Brewing says: Miller High Life, the “champagne of beers,” is a timeless American beer dating back to 1903. Miller High Life is a classic American-style lager recognized for its consistently crisp, smooth taste, classic clear-glass bottle and its famous “Girl in the Moon” symbol. Miller High Life embraces its rich heritage and is positioned as a refreshingly authentic beer. For our target consumer, Miller High Life is a refuge for the real in an increasingly pretentious world. As the best beer value in America, we encourage our target consumers to “Take Back the High Life.”
We say: Right now Miller is running a campaign in which delivery men walk into Dean and Deluca look-a-likes and take all of the Miller High Life. They are the anti-delivery men and they are taking back the High Life from snooty stores.
As though they even sell the High Life there.
Why not take the Sarah Maclachlan music video guilt trip route and just say “Miller High Life: $3.69 for a six pack. And by not making a commercial we brought water to 7 African villages.”?
Yeah, that’s the whole ad campaign. Or don’t make ad campaign. Be like Trader Joe’s and make High Life the next 2-buck-Chuck, relying on word-of-mouth to boost sales. Oh wait, word of mouth campaigns rely on a product being good, whereas this beer is just cheap.
So, if you’re looking for a relatively cheap way to get drunk, pick up a six-pack of Miller High Life. You’ll seem semi-classy because it comes in bottles, though if you’re anal about recycling (like us) that will probably suck for you because you’ll be forced to put the bottles back in your messenger bag and take them home where they can be properly recycled.
Give us a break, we’re from Oregon.
[If you aren’t familiar with the Miller High Life Delivery Guys commercials, here’s the restaurant version:
We love the part where the delivery man scoffs at the $11.50 hamburger, saying “$11.50 hamburger, y’all must be crazy.” The first time around, we (being East Coast people) didn’t get it, thinking ‘Yeah, $11.50 is a bit much for a hamburger, but not if it comes with guacamole, cheddar cheese, bacon and a side of tater tots.’
Maybe these commercials aren’t for us. Maybe these commercials are for people who eat at What-a-burger, people who laugh at the idea of $11.50 hamburger, people who go apoplectic when they visit New York or L.A.]
Filed Under United States, Miller Brewing, Alcohol, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Beer, Three Stars
Hornsby’s Amber Draft Hard Cider
Price: $6.00 per 6 pack
Serving: 1 bottle, 12 ounces.
Calories: 170
Alcohol by Volume: 6%
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 25mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 5%, 16g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 9g
Hornsby’s says: There’s no blurb on the bottle, no website, and no mention from Gallo that this beverage is a part of their product portfolio.
We say: You could easily replicate the flavor of Hornsby’s Amber Draft Hard Cider by leaving a bottle of opened apple juice in your fridge for several weeks. Or you could try your hand at prison wine, an extraordinary concoction detailed in Steve, Don’t Eat It! Volume 8. The ‘Is this spoiled or is this how it is supposed to taste?’ effect is unsettling in a just-opened beverage, so the cider has now been sitting on the kitchen counter for a full 20 minutes while we contemplate just pouring it down the drain.
But that would be a waste of .72 ounces of alcohol (12 fluid ounces times 6% Alcohol by Volume) and the world’s foremost beverage review site is not about to let perfectly good hard cider go to waste.
Except that this isn’t perfectly good hard cider. The 2nd and 3rd swigs simply confirm that there is something very, very wrong with this drink. Perhaps it could be improved by repurposing the beverage as an entertainment device. Simply serve this to your friends and watch their faces contort in horror.
Fun in a bottle.
Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Price Per Mini Bottle: $5.00 at Arena Stage
Price Per Liter: $15.00 at a liquor store
Serving: 1.5 fluid ounces
Calories: 100
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
Jim Beam says: Experts believe that the time bourbon spends in the barrel produces its true character. Jim Beam Bourbon ages for a minimum of a full four years (twice the Federal mandate) to perfect its rich amber glow and uncommonly smooth taste.
We say: Jim Beam Kentucky Bourbon reminds us of late summer days in Texas. Humid, gray, sodden days when tropical storms rolled in off the Gulf of Mexico, preventing beach trips and encouraging games of Texas Hold ‘em and the consumption of Brobdingnagian cups of Jim Beam and ice.
Jim Beam is the ideal gateway whiskey, featuring a sweet smoothness attractive to people who are not yet alcoholics. And at just $15.00 per liter, it is an affordable way to provide a semi-classy mixer at your next event or make killer apple cider.
Our preferred Jim Beam drinking method takes place on unbelievably hot days. Simply fill a glass with medium-to-small ice cubes (not big ones; they don’t melt quickly enough), then pour the bourbon over your glass of ice. Beginners may want to use a shot glass to measure the pour. Once you’ve made the drink, have a seat poolside or on the porch, play some cards, and slowly sip your fantastic glass of bourbon.
Filed Under Jim Beam, Bourbon, Liquor, Alcohol, Five Stars, All Natural, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free
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