Odwalla B Berrier Juice Drink
Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Serving: 8oz., 1/2 bottle
Servings Per Container: 2
Calories: 120 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 15mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 30%, 10g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Sugar: 27g
Vitamin B: 25%
Weight Watchers Points: 4 points per bottle
Odwalla says: We’ve splashed a dazzling fountain of fruits and B vitamins into this cool, thirst-busting concoction. Cranberries, limes and raspberries make a quenching cascade of tart sweetness, while hard-working vitamins B6 and B12 do the heavy lifting. These B vitamins are essential partners in the conversion of carbohydrates and amino acids into glucose, which supplies energy for your fabulous day.
We say: The full name of this product is “B Berrier® • Cranberry-Lime-Raspberry Fruit Juice Drink Blend” Yeah, with the registered trademark deal and all. Because you have to watch out for people that will steal lame drink names.
I picked up this Odwalla gem at my local bakery. It was 90 degrees outside and I was going to have a doughnut if it killed me. However, I would abstain from coffee and needed a suitable substitute, one able to withstand the rigors of a humid DC morning. Have I mentioned that it was hot enough to cause grievous injury (or even death) to any living being trapped within a non-airconditioned environment? Well, it was.
The Odwalla B Berrier Cranberry-Lime-Raspberry drink performed admirably. It is a cranberry cocktail on steroids, pumping itself up with the sweetness of raspberry and the tang of lime. After one swig I thought “Dang, I wish this didn’t cost $4.00 per bottle. Otherwise I’d drink it every day.” And then after the second swig I turned to the ingredients label and realized that this drink comes with a lethal amount of sugar. Sure, it seems safe at just 27 grams for some fruit juice cocktail. Until you realize that’s for just half the bottle. That’s right, this little 24% juice drink contains 54 grams of sugar.
Yikes.
I’ll keep this beverage in mind for the occasional treat, perhaps using it to make some utterly delightful cocktails.
Filed Under Cranberry, Fat Free, Four Stars, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Juice Cocktails, Lime, Odwalla, Raspberry, United States, Vegan
The Famous Grouse Whiskey
Price Per Liter: €9.60
Serving: 1.5 fluid ounces
Calories: 100
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 0mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
The Famous Grouse says: Golden, clear and bright; the colour is a hint of the balance of liquids inside: satisfying malts like The Macallan and Highland Park married with fine grain whiskies.
We say: After waking at 4:45 am to catch an 8 am flight out of Rome, Madrid’s airport seemed a good place to consume something ridiculously American (we had to prep for the US) and poke around in the Duty Free shops. Now, most of us already know that Duty Free shops are a complete rip-off. A box of Baci that’s 9 Euro at the Termini suddenly becomes 12 Euro at the Duty Free shop. The same seemed to hold true for just about every single item we checked out, including Balsamic Vinegar tasting sets, olive oil, and pancetta.
Fortunately, they had free samples of whiskey, something every traveler wishes to consume prior to a 9 hour flight over the Atlantic. I can’t tell you whether or not Famous Grouse Whiskey is fantastic. All I can say is that it is smoky and bright, with a fine amber color. Also, you shouldn’t drink it when your body thinks that it is all of 9 o’clock in the morning. Though, if the folks at Famous Grouse wouldn’t mind sending a sample (or coupon - do they make coupons for booze? Is that allowed?) then we’d definitely like to try it again.
Diet Coke Plus
Price: $4.99 per 12 pack
Serving: 12oz., 1 can
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 0 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 2%, 45mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 0%, 0g
Fiber: 8%, 2g
Sugar: 38g
Weight Watchers Points: 0 points
The Coca Cola Company says: Diet Coke Plus is everything you love about Diet Coke, plus several essential nutrients.
We say: If you didn’t know it before, be warned now that we love Diet Coke. In fact, it the most frequently consumed beverage in our office (including water). Knowing this (and discounting the Orwellian name), we thought that our coworkers would rejoice when we brought in some Diet Coke Plus. You know, the Diet Coke with vitamins and minerals. After all, who doesn’t want to feel as though they’re doing something good just by drinking soda?
Our coworkers didn’t feel the same way. One pointed out that the packaging was awfully gay. Not gay as in happy, but gay as in homosexual. And this was a gay coworker, so we felt that he had a definite level of expertise when it came to calling something gay. What makes Diet Coke Plus gay? The rainbow stripe and teal highlights, that’s what. Not wanting to argue that point (really, who cares if a beverage is gay or not?) we were confronted by another coworker who claimed that it wasn’t as fizzy as regular Diet Coke.
Lacking a fizz-o-meter, there’s just no way to verify that one. Also, she isn’t exactly the Queen of Carbonation, so we didn’t give in so quickly on that claim.
What we can tell you is that there’s a very serious reason why we, supreme Diet Coke lovers, bought only a 12-pack of this stuff and never looked at it again: it tastes a bit like Dr. Pepper. This of course leads us to wonder whether all vitamins and minerals, when added to soda, taste like Dr. Pepper. Also, could one add B6 and Niacin and Magnesium to Dr. Pepper without anyone knowing the difference?
Filed Under Coca Cola, Cola, Contains Aspartame, Fat Free, One Star, Soda, United States, Zero Calorie
Izze Sparkling Clementine
Price: $1.79
Serving: 12oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 135 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 1%, 15mg
Protein: 0g
Carbohydrates: 10%, 33g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per bottle
Izze says: Clementines, sweet little cousins to the orange, have been used throughout history as both aphrodisiacs and characters in catchy banjo tunes, though rarely at the same time. Then again, nothing quite gets us in the mood like an old miner’s song.
We say: Since Starbucks dropped Jones Soda products in June, Izze is as close as we’re going to get to having a carbonated beverage in the coffee mecca. That’s right, no more Root Beer with cute pictures, no more clear Cream Soda, and no more weird Blue stuff that we never drink but just stare at while trying to decide whether or not the ceasar salad wrap is safe to eat.
Instead, we get Izze, owned by Pepsi (they also bottle those nasty Frappuccinos). Izze is simply fruit juice, soda water, natural colors (beta carotene in this case) and natural flavors (we have no idea what those are, they don’t tell us). Izze’s Sparkling Clementine is also fantastically good-looking, with minimalist decorations on the bottles, terrific colors (thanks, beta carotene!) and a classy font. Because typefaces are really, really important when choosing a beverage.
Izze beverages are just the sort of thing that one sees in Starbucks, but never in real life at our grocery store. Okay, so they might be at your grocery store (if you shop at Whole Foods), but since we haven’t seen them we are pretending that they only exist in the alternate universe known as Starbucks. Izze sparkling beverages shall henceforth be known as Schrodinger’s Soda.
While it isn’t something we’d drink every day (a case of 12 is $17.00 at Whole Foods - yikes!). It is nice for an occasional treat. You know, for when you want to feel like virtuous yuppy.
Filed Under All Natural, Fat Free, Four Stars, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Izze, Juice Cocktails, Orange, United States
Miller High Life
Price: $3.69 for six
Serving: 12oz., 1 bottle
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 143 per serving
Fat: 0%, 0g
Cholesterol: 0%, 0mg
Sodium: 0%, 7mg
Protein: 1g
Carbohydrates: 4%, 13.1g
Fiber: 0%, 0g
Weight Watchers Points: 3 per bottle
Miller Brewing says: Miller High Life, the “champagne of beers,” is a timeless American beer dating back to 1903. Miller High Life is a classic American-style lager recognized for its consistently crisp, smooth taste, classic clear-glass bottle and its famous “Girl in the Moon” symbol. Miller High Life embraces its rich heritage and is positioned as a refreshingly authentic beer. For our target consumer, Miller High Life is a refuge for the real in an increasingly pretentious world. As the best beer value in America, we encourage our target consumers to “Take Back the High Life.”
We say: Right now Miller is running a campaign in which delivery men walk into Dean and Deluca look-a-likes and take all of the Miller High Life. They are the anti-delivery men and they are taking back the High Life from snooty stores.
As though they even sell the High Life there.
Why not take the Sarah Maclachlan music video guilt trip route and just say “Miller High Life: $3.69 for a six pack. And by not making a commercial we brought water to 7 African villages.”?
Yeah, that’s the whole ad campaign. Or don’t make ad campaign. Be like Trader Joe’s and make High Life the next 2-buck-Chuck, relying on word-of-mouth to boost sales. Oh wait, word of mouth campaigns rely on a product being good, whereas this beer is just cheap.
So, if you’re looking for a relatively cheap way to get drunk, pick up a six-pack of Miller High Life. You’ll seem semi-classy because it comes in bottles, though if you’re anal about recycling (like us) that will probably suck for you because you’ll be forced to put the bottles back in your messenger bag and take them home where they can be properly recycled.
Give us a break, we’re from Oregon.
[If you aren't familiar with the Miller High Life Delivery Guys commercials, here's the restaurant version:
We love the part where the delivery man scoffs at the $11.50 hamburger, saying "$11.50 hamburger, y'all must be crazy." The first time around, we (being East Coast people) didn't get it, thinking 'Yeah, $11.50 is a bit much for a hamburger, but not if it comes with guacamole, cheddar cheese, bacon and a side of tater tots.'
Maybe these commercials aren't for us. Maybe these commercials are for people who eat at What-a-burger, people who laugh at the idea of $11.50 hamburger, people who go apoplectic when they visit New York or L.A.]
Filed Under Alcohol, Beer, Fat Free, High Fructose Corn Syrup Free, Miller Brewing, Three Stars, United States
-
-
About
Imbibable.com is the world's most comprehensive source of beverage reviews. We hope that the above sentence will be true by 2010.
-
Beverage Types
-
Beverage Flavors
-
Other Review Blogs
Imbibable Recycles
